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Be a Great Flirt: Attraction

by Sam van Rood

The basis of almost all attraction is similarity. Studies show that people are attracted to people who are similar to them and they tend to have longer, more successful relationships.

When you walk into a party and see someone that you fancy, your unconscious mind is matching them, their body language, facial features and gestures against all the other people you have met in the past. If they are similar to someone you have fancied in the past, ‘bang’, you get that feeling of chemistry. This is also tied in with various biological factors, like whether your immune systems are compatible, etc.

We have a ‘relationship template’ that outlines who we are attracted to. If you really understand body language, you realize that you can read an enormous amount about a person in the first few seconds that you meet. You can see if they are energetic or depressed. You can gauge if you are going to get on with them. Normally, when you meet someone, your mind matches their body language and facial features against the database of people that you have met in the past. If they match up with your ‘relationship template’, then you experience that chemistry.


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